This is something I’ve thought about quite a lot. There are 2.5 years between my sister and I, and the way our birthdays fell meant we were three school years apart. I know many people who have siblings 15 - 17 months older than them and they felt it was mostly great to have a friend and a sibling in one, as well as those who felt a four year age gap or more was too much and felt they did not know their sister or brother as well.
Why is this on my mind? Well, I am very happy and proud to say I will be expecting my second baby in the autumn – and we will be celebrating my firstborn's first birthday at the end of next month. I get a lot of “you will have your hands full”, “you are brave” or “oops” type comments, which I find funny and posed my thoughts for this blog!
I only have a few birthdays before the ‘big 4-0’ and so did not want to waste any more time on the kids front. In fact, I prayed for twins with my first pregnancy and so prayed not for twins with this one! My husband and I want a total of two kids, close together in age. The fact that they will only be one school year apart – due to the Canadian school year following the calendar year – is ideal for a self employed work from home mom (and dad!).
It also means baby number two will get a whole year one on one with mum whilst baby one will be a big grown up boy heading out to kindergarten. I do feel I want to ensure one on one time with each child on a regular basis as they grow, as well as important family time and I think this is ideal.
Whilst a lot of my friends have put their changing babies bums days behind them, there are still those who have one child in the one – three years age range who are like “whooaaa! What you doing?” Then there are friends with four years olds seem to still not be able to see when the ‘right time’ for a second child would be. I’m not sure I see the problem with my little ones approx 16 months age gap, no matter what age baby one is when I have to take care of baby two – life will be busy!?
So what are the pros and cons of having two babies close in age? Here's what I think...
Pros
* Getting the messy stuff and sleepless nights all done ‘quickly’.
* Getting the childcare (very important to us) and pre-school issues behind you as quickly as possible.
* They may have more shared interests and shared activities and make entertaining them both during the school holidays easier.
* The two siblings may play well together.
* Baby one being young when baby two arrives will be like life without the other never happened and hopefully make the adjustment easier. (I have my fingers crossed on this one!)
Cons
* Life will be busy... to say the least!
* You will be elbow deep in muck, food up the walls and much more, with little or no break for a few years.
* Potentially there could be more squabbling over shared toys etc, as they will have closer interests.
As long as YOU are comfortable with the gap... that is what I see as important. Just like life pre any baby, my advice always is FILL THE FREEZER with easy meals before the new arrival, it will make things a lot easier!
For anyone out there pondering this baby number two question, my advice is to go with whatever works for you, factor in your existing family’s needs & feelings, the go for it because people will make interesting comments no matter what!
Also published at home.
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