Overcoming limiting beliefs - part two

so this turned into a 2 parter, but that wasn't the original plan, well here it is part two:

I hope you enjoyed the video clip of the first 20 minutes of the secret! It can either be a life changing film, or not - that's down to you. There are so many more routes to source similar information. One good way is to google the people from the film, or contact us and we will gladly point you in the right direction!

So back to overcoming limiting beliefs, the main underlying issues are a lack of self-confidence, not knowing about the law of attraction (see film the secret), poor time management or poor goal setting. Note goal setting – they need to be feasible, achievable and measurable – I find putting a time limit as part of my goal is key, then to try and break it down into workable ‘chunks’. For example if you set a goal – to learn a language, go on to define it:

I wish to learn Italian – to a conversational level, by the end of the year. In the first three months I wish to be able to introduce myself, ask directions and order food. In the next three months, be able to tell the time, use phrases and sentences…. At the end of the year I wish to take a holiday to Italy and feel comfortable in day to day situations in shops, restaurants etc.

To overcome your negative beliefs you first need to figure out what they are exactly – the best way is by writing them down. It’s harder to face when they are written down, but you can get surprising results when you do. These beliefs are not true and you can change the beliefs that you have about yourself – honestly!

Look at your list and now try and create empowering beliefs, start with the things that you are proud of or feel you do well then, change your limiting beliefs into positive ones. Try to only use positive language – your mind does not recognise the word not.

As an example of this concept - if you are holding onto the thought ‘I do not want to be late for work’ the not effectively gets lost and so ‘I want to always be on time/ early for work’ is the mindset you need and how you need to approach this task.

To then actually replace how you think about yourself takes time, think of it as an ongoing project. For me I felt a difference inside of two weeks, but really saw and recognised a difference in 2 – 3 months. Spend a little time on this every day.

Whilst you don’t have to put post it’s on the mirrors and doors in your house with positive messages – it is a very low cost, low tech and if you feel comfortable with it, effective way to go. Something I have done and loved doing (I cannot remember where I read/ heard this so cannot correctly share the credit) – every time you go through a door frame – lift yourself a little higher. What I mean is – start with a door frame in your house at a time where you won’t be disturbed, take a deep breathe, let go of all negative thoughts, think positive, calming ones. Hold your head up high, think about strong body posture and then mentally stretch yourself another ½” taller. In your minds eye every time you pass through a door remember posture, hold head up high and think positively. I hope I have done this concept justice here as I say I really like this.

Consider downloading some power affirmations, I did this and then put them on my ipod which I listened to every night – even just ten minutes a night would be a fantastic investment, I’m a light sleeper and found it very hard to sleep so I would probably be listening to 50 minutes worth a day. To spend an hour a day on a creating a new life/ new mindset is an excellent use of time!

Whilst you should make an effort to hold these positive thoughts and take time to work on your beliefs, don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day – that defeats the purpose, just get back on track. There are some wonderful empowering videos on you tube and here are a few for you, once you look at one – other links are offered for others, choose those that work for you download them and watch them over whenever you feel the need. They are brief and so you can even use headphones at work in your lunch break (if your company rules permit.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irxDtMwGwh8
I watch this when someone has got me very angry and I need to turn my anger around (as it only eats up the person holding the emotion!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4zWBHFCmXM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrvC6bezy7g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ia5nAojCFGM&feature=fvw

Spend time on holding positive thoughts and emotions every day - about yourself and the world around you. Even just put on a favourite piece of music when the world is getting you down, see how it makes you feel.. hold onto that, try to expand on it.

Use what works for you - meditations, affirmations, yoga, release techniques, etc or.

Start paying attention to positive events, don't focus on the negative ones – there is positive experiences from every situation, you need to look for the lesson, the opportunity.

Don't expect the miracles happen overnight, this is the best quest you can go on!
Try to spend time around positive people, try to either cut loose, or at least in the short term - avoid the negative people, or at least those who make you feel bad about yourself. "What if they are family?" This is the hardest part. It depends on the relationship you have with them, personally if you can just avoid them until your mindset is 'stronger' then do so, or you could consider explaining I am choosing to focus on the happy, positive side of life and is this conversation is not going that way - I am going to excuse myself from it. Also you could try passing on your skills, things you've learnt to keep a positive mindset. I did this with the key ‘negative ninny’ in my life, it worked for 2 weeks and was lovely. Then well they chose to go back down the negative path. Not a problem, but I'm not going that way and I maintained my work on my own mindset and did not let it divert me from my chosen course.

Limiting beliefs can stem from childhood events, or just from day to day actions and self doubt, don’t dwell on why you have them, just on how you wish to be, to feel without them and strive for it.

I’ve tried to keep this short and have so much more to say on this and this will link to an upcoming article on Fibromyalgia. However I am not diverting away from my core 21st Century mum topics, this is something that affects everyone and we should all be free from our negative emotions and beliefs in order to be the best we can be, the best parent, partner, brother, sister, employee, friend, neighbour and so on.

Hopefully this has been of benefit. :)

Overcoming limiting beliefs - part one

Reading a friends ezine recently I was reminded of the (negative) power of limiting beliefs. She had set the mindset that she would not be able to have a 3rd child as travelling between the family home in California and relatives in Canada was hard enough with 2 kids, when her husband was working, to do so with 3 would be impossible, whilst thinking this recently at the airport she ran into a mom with 3 kids who's husband worked for the airline and her kids were used to flying and were perfectly fine.

It's amazing what we tell ourselves and therefore believe!

There are those who are given the diagnosis of something like Lou Gehrig's /
ALS Motor Neurone Disease (MND) and who refuse to accept it's fate and instead as with the very famous Stephen Hawking (who has lived with it for over 40 years) go on – believing that they can!

Whilst perhaps not everything is just as simple as mindset - it can play a massive part in it! People getting lost in the wilderness - some don't survive 24 hours others can be found weeks later... did mindset play a part, did the belief they would survive assist their survival - I say yes.

I will give a personal example of where I was a) able to overcome a hurdle with my mindset and b) where it didn't 'work'.

Firstly I had suffered with arthritic pains in my joints starting with my knees when I was 15 - reaching it's worst they day I tried on my wedding dress and my hip joint caused me such excruciating pain - I wanted to cry! Anyway I finally pushed my doctor and after some time ended up receiving the correct diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. There are those who don't believe in it and I understand that, I have every intention of writing a full article on this in the near future, however - in short, with some reiki some positive affirmations playing on my ipod every night and a general change in mindset (I believed I did not have to live with pain and well I didn't!)

So fast forward to when I fell pregnant - I was self employed and knew how important not suffering morning sickness would be to my ability to function and get my work done. I downloaded something to my ipod that was supposed to help overcome/ prevent suffering of morning sickness. Whilst I honestly think I believed it should work and maybe I picked the wrong thing, or maybe it was just my path - but boy was I sick, the WHOLE way through my pregnancy!!

I’d like to give just one more example, this is another positive outcome of really applying your thoughts and actions towards your positive desires. I had a great sales career - it was something I fell into and turned out to be good at and enjoy (although I was never keen on office politics and I could not suck up to the bosses to save my life!) anyway... I always wondered what I would be able to do after becoming a mom - for years this sat at the back of my mind. I'd want to work and well I like sales!

So when I met my now husband and was in a great job (again apart from the darn politics!) I wondered then what was possible. In the back of my mind I thought - what if you could be freelance - just like a freelance writer, but who has ever heard of a freelance sales person?! Right, me either!

I didn't even know it existed, but I wanted to do it, even just for a year - to see if it were possible and something I could do later in life when needed. Well a year later, right about when I was bored at work (12 months into any sales cycle, all targets exceeded, hmmmppff nothing's new!..) I was about to go away on holiday and was not looking forward to coming back to work afterwards and through a friend of a friend I'd heard about a Scottish magazine dying to get a decent sales person, so keen were they, they were considering someone who could work remotely, on a freelance basis. Ta dah! Now the down side of this opportunity was that it was to be commission only. I'd worked hard and saved well, so I knew I could cover the bills for nearly four months and so took the plunge!

Well fast forward (yes I am fast forwarding lots!) through some lean months - that magazine did not work out, but that's another story, also another client went belly up and owed me a months earnings, but anyway. I started making enough money to scrape by, then over time the quality of contracts that I got offered improved, word of mouth kicked in and then I found a client that I have now worked with for almost four years - just one day a week, working as his entire sales team! Now here I am working around my son, from home and still loving it, I get to work on new projects - which keeps things fresh and I can schedule my life around work.

But coming back to the objective - to overcome the beliefs that limit us, restrict our potential, make us fall short of living the life we want to live - I'd like to provide some help. Firstly please don't go quitting your jobs on a whim, research, plan, save and most of all HIT THE GROUND RUNNING, if you plan a career overhaul!

Having continued on from here and seen how lengthy what this short pep talk has become - I'm going to have to turn this into a ‘two parter’, can you bear with me? Come back in a day for part two? I hope so - it will be worth it.

Before I go here is a clip from a movie that I discovered when I made a very positive decision to work on my thoughts - The Secret. I frequently send this clip to anyone I think needs a cheer up!

I hope it's the best 20 minutes you've invested in your life, even if you've watched it before, go on do it again. It peps me up every time I watch it!